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Throughout my career, I always felt like I was doing what was required—completing tasks, helping clients, and teaching students the skills they needed to succeed. I knew I was making a difference, but there was always an underlying sense that I wasn’t fully accepted, that I wasn’t quite enough. In every job I’d held before, I felt expendable, as though I could easily be replaced. It wasn’t until I began contracting with Carolina Counseling Services (CCS) that I finally felt a true sense of belonging.
In my previous roles, I was constantly proving myself, always feeling like I had to do more or risk being overlooked. But as a contractor, that pressure vanished. I no longer felt in competition with my peers. At CCS, each of us has the freedom to choose the clients we work with and tailor our practice to our unique strengths and interests. It’s never about doing more or less than others—it’s about doing what fits for you. This experience was so liberating and, honestly, unexpected. After years of working in high-pressure environments, I didn’t realize how much I needed this kind of support and autonomy.
Talking to fellow clinicians, I’ve found that many have felt similarly. We’ve all experienced the trauma of being in work environments where we were treated as replaceable or forced to work with clients we weren’t fully equipped to help, all in the name of meeting numbers. There’s often condemnation in those settings if you express a preference for certain clients or cases—it’s seen as limiting, or as if you’re not ambitious enough. That kind of pressure leads straight to burnout, and I was relieved to leave it behind when I became an independent contractor with CCS.
It took time to fully accept that this new way of working wasn’t just a phase. I struggled internally, sometimes overextending myself because I was so used to being pushed that I didn’t know how to gauge if I was doing “enough” on my own. Imposter syndrome would creep in, making me question whether I was working hard enough or achieving enough. But as I started mentoring other clinicians, I realized I wasn’t alone. This wasn’t just my experience—it was something many of us go through after years of working in more rigid, demanding environments.
With time, I adapted to the freedom and confidence that comes with being a contractor. I no longer felt like there was a constant weight on my shoulders, urging me to do better or work harder. I could focus on my skills, my interests, and take the time for meaningful trainings. I even began considering new opportunities, like supervising other clinicians or developing my own training programs—all while continuing my work as a contractor, making the income I wanted, and enjoying the flexibility I’d always craved.
Contracting with CCS has allowed me to do the work I love without the constant pressure, and for the first time in my career, I truly feel fulfilled.
