We made it through 75 days of January and now it’s February, the month of love if you will. As with many holidays, Valentine’s Day can be difficult. As you gear up to provide support to your clients during this potentially difficult time, don’t forget about yourself.
As therapists we are all too familiar with the concept of self-care. While we may be familiar with it I’m fairly certain that most of us are NOT champions when it comes to practicing it. So here it comes, another reminder that your needs are also important. Though I hope that this hits a bit differently.
Burnout is a real concern in our field, but it doesn’t have to happen.
Why is it so hard for therapists to practice self-care?
Just because you know what healthy self-care looks like doesn’t mean you are an example for it. Though we are therapists we are also humans and unfortunately humans tend to think that most things apply to everyone else and not them.
Therapists tend to fall into this type of thinking more than others because we tend to be of the caretaker variety. We have a lot of skills so we may believe we have the capacity to take on a lot of water. We will practice self-care when we need to, you may tell yourself, but will you though? Possessing the ability to take on a lot does NOT mean that it is wise to take on a lot.
It can be easy to put yourself on the shelf to help others, especially if you feel their needs are greater than your own. It’s okay if you take on that extra client at the end of the day, you’ll skip the gym that day. You can see that extra client in the morning, you’ll just wake up earlier. Schedule a high risk client over your lunch….. See where I’m going here. The road to destruction is also paved with good intentions.
You know ALL about self-care, but that doesn’t mean you’re practicing it.
Finding Balance
If you are familiar with self-care you are also likely to be familiar with the idea of finding balance as part of practicing self-care. You know that self-care is taking care of yourself physically and mentally. You know there is time and space for this when you have more balance in your life. Simple right? Not even a little.
I love the concept of balance, the idea that with proper planning you can balance all of life’s demands as well as your own. It’s a wonderful concept and a pipe dream in my opinion. That’s right, I said it. Balance, as we often perceive it, really isn’t possible in my humble opinion.
Don’t get me wrong, there may be some magical unicorn people out there that have found a way to perfectly balance everything in their lives. If you are one of them, stop reading this and start thinking about how to teach us all your magical ways. If you are a regular human like me, it’s far more likely that you will need to triage what is most important.
Generally speaking, if we are doing exceptionally well in one life area there are probably other areas that aren’t getting as much attention as they deserve. I don’t say this with the intention of ruining your goal of balance, I do say it in the hope that you find some radical acceptance or even relief.
You aren’t doing it wrong and you could be doing it better.
Practicing Self-Care, Practicing Balance
They call it practicing for a reason. You may even tell your clients this! Don’t forget to tell yourself.
We strive for balance just as we strive for a healthy self-care routine. Sometimes we do great, sometimes not so great and that’s okay. You want to spend the majority of your time in a healthy practice of both but you aren’t going to be there all the time.
Part of developing a healthy practice of both is deciding what is needed at various times. You wouldn’t want to create a plan for practical, sustainable self-care full of balance and expect that plan to fit you throughout your life, or even your week for that matter!
You are constantly growing and evolving, life will also continue to change and throw curve balls. Flexibility is essential for a practice of self-care. Balance cannot be found without it either.
Practical Self-Care in Action
Any type of self-care routine you engage in is going to have to be practical. If it doesn’t fit for you you aren’t going to use it. The whole point of all of this is to stress the importance of practicing self-care, the last thing I want is for you to read all of this and then still not do it!
Start with the basics, take a look at your eating and sleeping habits. I am aware that both can be a struggle, but still, start there. We aren’t striving for perfection, we are striving for a bit of balance. Try to add some extra hours of sleep if you aren’t getting enough or scale it back if you tend to oversleep when overwhelmed. Throw in some veggies and drink some more water. This is self-care. While you’re at it, schedule a physical. This is practical self-care.
Taking care of yourself isn’t all about big gestures, sometimes it’s just making sure you eat during the day. While we are on the subject of that, do you build time into your day to eat? You wouldn’t run your car on empty, don’t treat your body that way.
Take control of your schedule. I do realize that not all positions allow for this. It is far easier to build a schedule that promotes self-care and wellness as a contractor but it isn’t impossible in other settings. Take a look at what you may need to change about your schedule to allow time for self-care. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
To Sum It Up
Self-care is for therapists too. I know you know what to do, so get to it! Self-care is necessary but it isn’t as easy as it seems. Start small and create a practical self-care routine for yourself now, don’t wait! If you wait, you know you will get busy helping someone else develop an amazing self-care plan.
As a therapist there are a lot of people counting on you to stay healthy and avoid burnout. You have more folks looking to you for guidance than the average bear. Practice what you preach therapist friend, see you next time.
